Back in March,Watch Passenger 69 XXX New York City released guidelines for practicing safe sex amid the coronavirus pandemic. The document quickly got the internet's attention for its funny yet nonjudgmental tips, such as reminding everyone that you are your safest sex partner (said in a Smokey the Bear voice).
NYC's Department of Health refreshed the guidelines over the weekend, and the new version has got plenty of gems.
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Again, NYC says that youare your safest partner, meaning that masturbation is the best option for those living alone. The good news is that they've answered the question of whether sex with other people is allowed with a resounding "Yes!" — but you do need to dive into the fine print.
The city advises you to ask some questions before having sex with anyone outside your household: Do they have COVID symptoms, or have they had symptoms in the past 14 days? Have they been diagnosed?
SEE ALSO: How single people are dealing with the 'sex ban' in EnglandBut NYC knows its people. We're probably going to have sex anyway as things begin to open back up, especially after being cooped up for the past few months. So the document continues with some offbeat tips on staying safe:
"If two is company then three (or more) is definitely a crowd." These guidelines don't judge, however, so they share what you should do if you find yourself at a bunker orgy. Tips include include fucking in a well-ventilated space and bringing hand sanitizer. Sexy!
Screenshot of the guidelines. Credit: NYC GOV Beyond group sex, there are more bullet points on safe pandemic sex:
Screenshot of the guidelines. Credit: nyc gov Not only does NYC advise against kissing or having oral sex, they suggest wearing a face mask. "Maybe it's your thing, maybe it's not," the guidelines read, "but during COVID-19 wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during sex."
You may think masked sex sounds kinky, but wait until you get to the part of the document that outright recommends kinky sex:
Screenshot of the guidelines. Credit: nyc gov "Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close to face contact." I'm not saying NYC is officially recommending glory holes, but I'm not not saying that either.
Read the guidelines in their full glory (sorry!) here.